I think that tomorrow is solo and ensemble. Hopefully they'll cancel it because of the snow. But if they don't it doesn't really matter anymore. A couple of days ago I was freaking out because of stupid little things but now I'm a lot cooler and my playing isn't suffering. I'm going to go in their tomorrow and do what I can do. If he likes it's fine if he doesn't then that is fine too. I'm just going to go in their and do my best. I think I have improved a lot and I'm proud of my self because of that. There are still a couple of things that I'll be cleaning up today before tomorrow so hopefully everything will go well. Yesterday I also received the All County band music. We are doing some pretty dumb songs like wizard of oz and stuff like that. Like I've said before all I care about is county jazz. I'm not that good of a legit player. Also on Thursday I was given the music for the school musical Guys and Dolls. I'm little afraid about doing this musical due to me not believing that I have the endurance to play the entire show. There are about 30 or more songs.. I'm going to be the only trumpeter playing so I also have to play all the solos and all the parts were the 2nd trumpet has melody. Not only that but a lot of the songs like Havana go all the way up to the limits of my range. So it's really going to be a challenge. I have a couple of months to learn all the music witch I know I can do.. but I'm still not sure how I will handle the endurance thing. But it will be fun because a lot of the songs are jazz witch I just love to play. Also for school band we are playing summertime where I have this huge trumpet solo witch should be cool. I have tons of great music to play and practice so I'm really excited. Hopefully this year they let me improvise again in all county jazz and maybe play a couple of solos.. if they don't that's fine too I'll just play section then.. So as time goes by I will keep updating you guys on what's up.

I think that everything is going to be ok. I am dedicating my self to pay more attention to playing music and doing less trumpet exercises. Today I practiced for 2 hours. I did a 10 minute warm up, 30 minutes of trumpet exercises, 30 minutes school music, 30 minutes sight reading and 30 minutes Haydn trumpet concerto. I think that if I keep this up everything will go fine for me.

Today we got back our All County Band try out results. I received 2nd chair. This is the first time that I've received 2nd chair. I've gotten 1st for the last 4 years. Right now I have mix feelings, but mainly I'm mad at my self. I didn't practice the piece like I should of. I only looked at the etude a couple of times. I could of done better on the etude but that didn't really hurt me as far as my score goes. My weak part was my sight reading. I received the lowest score in sight reading. The boy that got 1st chair just totally killed me when it came to sight reading. I'm not really mad that I received 2nd chair. This just motivates me and really helps me see things a lot clearer now. Although I'm friends with the boy that got 1st chair and he's a great guy and I don't mean to sound cocky or like a jerk, but the reality of the fact is this, as far as trumpet skills go the boy doesn't come close to matching me. And that's the truth. But he did spend a lot more time then me to work on the piece and he really disciplined himself to earn first chair. And I think that it doesn't really matter if I'm better then him because he took the time to work hard and I didn't so that makes him better then me. This has also made me realize that if I want to compete for a spot in the state jazz band I have to really get disciplined and have a better work ethic. I've been wasting so much time. Not only do I need to develop a better work ethic but I also need to work on my weaknesses. My number one weakness is my sight reading. I don't know how I'm going to improve my sight reading but I'll find a way to get better. But getting 2nd chair isn't such a bad thing. It's going to teach me a lot and I think that it has made my band mates realize that I'm human. For a very long time they have had these extremely high expectations of me that was starting to get to the point that if I couldn't hit a Double G they would get mad at me because I was suppose to be the great one. Well now I think that they've realized that I too like them have weaknesses and I think that now they will relate to me a little more and hopefully my hard work ethics will rub off on them. This whole experience has been pretty funny, but I think that everything happens for a reason. In matter of fact I was told today that solo and ensemble festival was canceled this Saturday because of snow so although I wasn't planning to do Solo and Ensemble Festival this has given me the chance to prove to my self something. I was told that I can enter solo and ensemble and my teacher told me to do the first movement of the Haydn Trumpet Concerto again. So now I'm doing the Haydn Trumpet Concerto for Solo and Ensemble and I have until March 1st to work on it and polish it. I'm really going to work hard and dedicate my self to music. I'm going to start practicing every day just like I use to and start to really just take my playing up to another level. Not only do I want to improve my playing but most importantly my sight reading and musical skills. I think that this is great for me and it's like a reality check for me. So this whole experience is just going to drive me to become even better at every aspect of music.

Today was the All County Band Audition. It was not my best audition, but it wasn't my worse either. My tone was fuzzy and I almost missed a couple of notes and I almost cracked some notes. My scales were perfect. My sight reading killed me. I'm afraid that it's going to make the difference between me getting 1st or 2nd. Well whatever happens happens. Right now I'm real motivated to move on and hopefully take my playing up to another level. To me it doesn't really matter if I get 1st chair or not. I just want to play. Sure it'd be nice to get 1st again but if I don't maybe it's for a reason. Maybe it will be good for me. Maybe I'll learn how to back up from lead and learn new skills of a section trumpet player. Maybe this will give me the aggression and hunger to be better that I need. Who knows.. Only time will tell.